Gin's Game
by Hikaru Yoru
Summary: Gin's bored and comes up with a brilliant idea to fix this problem. All he needs now are the victims.
1. Intro part 1

A/N: Innocent Demon here! This was just a random idea that came into my head. Then I realized that Gin would totally do something of the sort. XD

Disclaimer: BLEACH is obviously not mine. There. I typed it!

Warning: There's a few potty mouths. And grammar mistakes. Don't kill me!

**Intro of the Torturous **_**Sleepover**_** (part 1)**

"I have a game!" Gin announced happily.

Grimmjow immediately turned to leave, "Count me out." Gin pouted, "Don't be like that. C'mon, I think you might actually like this one!"

"I refuse." stated Ulquiorra flatly, "I must escort the prisoner to her room."

"Aww! But I want to play!" Orihime protested.

Ulquiorra stared at her with a slight glare, "No."

"Bu-but-!" Orihime continued to protest.

"I shall tie you up and drag you to your room if you continue to rebel." Ulquiorra informed her flatly.

Orihime sweat dropped.

"Actually…y'all can't leave." pointed out Gin joyously.

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"

Gin nodded, "Yup. I got permission from Aizen. He even wrote it out."

"What?" Grimmjow rushed over.

Gin drew out a roll of paper from his sleeve and handed over it to the sixth. Everyone crowded around him and read the contents of the paper. The writing on said paper went something like this:

"_To the Espadas and prisoner-_

_I give Ichimaru Gin permission to do whatever he wants with you all, and anyone who does not follow his wishes shall be punished accordingly._

_Sincerely,_

_Aizen-sama, your lord and future god"_

Grimmjow's eye twitched. Of all the lame orders a person can give…He threw his hands up in defeat, "Okay! Okay! What's this game you want us to play?"

"Everyone sit down." Gin instructed.

Everyone took their seats at the table.

"Now see that piece of paper in front of you?" Gin asked.

They all nodded.

"Okay. Use the writing instrument and write down your name on it. Then put it in this lottery ticket bin thing here." Gin patted the lottery ticket bin thing.

A unified sigh echoed off the walls, but they did so anyway. What choice did they had? After everyone put their slips in the contraption, Gin grabbed the handle and tumbled the slips.

"Ichimaru…" began Ulquiorra irritably, "what is the objective of this game?"

"I don't know." said Gin.

"WHAT?" everyone shouted at him.

The ex-Shinigami grinned, "Just joking. This is a game I made up called 'Sleepover'. I'll draw out two names and those two people have sleep in the same bed."

"WHAT?" everyone shouted at him again. Gin shrugged, "Heeeeeeeeeeey…._Your_ fault if you think wrong."

"I refuse to participate." Ulquiorra said stonily.

"But you have to." Gin pointed out simply. He drew out two slips of paper from the bin, "Okay. First two names: Wonderweiss and Nnoitra."

Nnoitra's eye twitched as he glared at his bed partner. _Mother fuck. _Wonderweiss, ignorant to his surroundings, only made noises of no sense whatsoever.

"Orihime and Starrk."

Orihime let off a sigh of relief. She could have gotten worse. Starrk rested one arm on the table and poked his pinky in his ear, wanting to go back to sleep.

"Harribel and Szayel."

Harribel refrained from hurting the former Shinigami. _Of all the silly… _Szayel, on the other hand, found this as an opportunity to get data. Ha! That will prove to those fools that he wasn't gay!

"Yammy and Barragan."

Both Espadas muttered curses under their breath.

"Zommari and Aaroniero." Without waiting for a response from them, Gin continued, "Last…but not least…Ulquiorra and Grimmjow."

"No." Ulquiorra said immediately.

"HELL NO!" Grimmjow yelled at the same time.

Gin gave them a winning grin, "I think you've already forgotten about Aizen's orders. You don't want ta do that, do you Ulquiorra?" He chose the fourth Espada as the target, 'cause he knew that Grimmjow wouldn't have cared less.

Ulquiorra was torn. He would never want to disobey Aizen-sama, but sleeping with that idiot was…repulsive. Extremely repulsive. Actually, beyond repulsive. The sixth just wanted to vomit. Someone cero him. PLEASE.

All at once, almost all of them were either protesting or threatening to blow Gin up with cero. It was more of the latter one. Gin just reminded them of Aizen's decree. That shut them all up. Or at least for the most part.

"All right. Now, for the second part!"

Everyone's head snapped in Gin's direction. They were all glaring at the ex-Shinigami. Grimmjow growled at him, "What fucking second part?"

Gin blinked innocently and explained, "We need to find out which room ya'll will be in….."

"And the point of that is….?" Ulquiorra wanted to know.

Gin, who had his hands behind his back, suddenly had a hat appear in his right hand as he brought it into view, "In this lovely top hat are slips of paper that have the numbers between 1 and 6. Once you pick your number, pick up a map," Gin brought his other hand into view with the maps, "And proceed to the room with that number."

Ulquiorra sighed, "I digress. What is the point of this?"

"Well…..depending on which number you get…..you can sleep in an extra large king sized bed…or a super small twin!" Gin informed them cheerfully.

Yammy leaned on his hand, "Can I just cero you right now so we don't have to do this crap?"

"Uhh…no."

"You know something?" Grimmjow pointlessly mused out loud, "I might have actually LIKED this game if we had more fucking females." He turned to Szayel, "Yo, Pinky! Switch with me! You have gay tendencies."

"What? No! I will not switch. Anyways, one would think that you would _enjoy_ the idea of having partnered up with Ulquiorra."

"What the hell do you mean, Pinky?" Grimmjow growled as he placed his cheek in the palm of his hand, "I fucking hate the piece of shit."

"Don't you know about the rumors floating around?" Szayel continued artlessly, as if he didn't value his live at all.

"WHAT FUCKING RUMORS?"

Ulquiorra closed his eyes, willing himself not to go out of character and shoot the octa with a Cero Oscuros.

Nnoitra nodded slowly, "Yeah….I would be more fun if there were more females. Too bad women are too weak to be Espada." He shrugged, "But then again, they don't deserve to be that powerful."

Harribel glared at him, "Be quiet fool. Remember that I'm two ranks higher than you and learn your place."

"What was that bitch!" Nnoitra yelled.

Gin threw a random rock he had at Nnoitra's head, "Shut up."

Passing the hat around, the pairs picked their numbers. Nnoitra got two, Orihime picked out four, Harribel picked out six, Barragan got one, Aaroniero got five, and Grimmjow ended up with three. After they got their maps from the head of the table, Gin grinned, "All right! Everybody brush your teeth and change into your PJ's!"

Grimmjow stood up, protesting, "But shouldn't we at least find out where we're gonna freaking sleep first?"

Gin blinked, "Noooooooooooooooo….Your PJ's won't be provided in the rooms you're heading in."

"Grimmjow, why are you complaining?" Nnoitra hissed, "If we get to go to our palaces before the whole thing starts….." Nnoitra trailed off, waiting for Grimmjow to fill in the blanks. If he had enough brains to do so.

Grimmjow's eyes lit up, "Never mind. I have absolutely no ob-"

"Oh. And if anyone decides to lock themselves up in their palaces, they will be electrocuted." Gin shoved them a wireless push button to prove a point.

"WHAT?" Nnoitra and Grimmjow shouted.

Nnoitra, along with some others began to shake out their clothes. Harribel crossed her arms, "Why are you all overreacting? He's most likely bluffing."

Szayel sweat dropped, "So that's why Gin asked me to make-"

"Make what?" Grimmjow grabbed the front of Szayel's shirt and shook him.

"I-I made microchips that will electrocute the target when a button is pressed…." Szayel confessed weakly. "I guess that's why he wanted them so badly…"

Grimmjow shook him some more, "And you just MADE them for that foxy creep! What the hell is WRONG with you?"

"He promised to give me tickets to the SM concert in Paris…."

Grimmjow shook the pink haired Espada harder, "Are you freaking fucking me?"

"It was SHINee!"

"Seriously?"

"Ichimaru….." Ulquiorra began, "How on earth did you get them on us?"

Gin grinned, "Not on, IN! I snuck them into all of your tea when y'all weren't lookin'!"

Everyone had a look of horror on their faces.

"Alright! Change into your pajamas and head to your room! Goodnight and sleep tight! 3" Gin said happily.


	2. Intro part 2

A/N: Second chapter, blah, blah, blah. XD Please review!

Disclaimer: BLEACH does not belong to me.

Warning: Potty mouths.

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><p><strong>Intro of the Torturous <strong>_**Sleepover**_** (part 2)**

About an hour later, Gin decided to manipulate all of the halls in Las Noches so that the Espada and prisoner ended back in the meeting room. Not hiding the fact that he was laughing at their confused faces, Gin said with quite difficulty, "Nice to know that you espadas don't have any fashion sense!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Grimmjow demanded as he grabbed the front of the ex-shinigami's shirt.

Gin smirked, "Well, for one thing, _I_ am wearing elegant black silk pajamas while _you're_ wearing…." he burst out laughing, "boxers with kitty heads on them!"

Grimmjow stared down at his boxers and looked up at Gin with a deadly scowl, "I had no choice! All my other clothes were in a fucking BONDFIRE when I got to my room and this was all I had!" Then Grimmjow realized: "YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS WEREN'T YOU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD?"

"I have no clue what you're talking about." Gin replied innocently despite the fact that the sexa was shaking him quite vigorously.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT BASTARD? YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY THE ONE TO BLAME, YOU FUCKING DICK!"

Gin clicked his tongue, "Tsk, tsk. Language, Grimmjow, language. There's a teenage prisoner in this room with all or most of her innocence still in tack."

"DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I GIVE A FUCKING SHIT? YOU FUCKING COOKED ALL MY FUCKING UNDERWEAR!"

Ulquiorra pried (actually slammed into the nearest wall) Grimmjow away from Gin, "Stop that. If you hurt Ichimaru, Aizen-sama will be displeased."

Grimmjow spat out the dust from his mouth, "No one cares except you, piece of shit. Everyone here hates Aizen's fucking guts."

"Amen." Gin muttered under his breath. Then he turned his attention to the rest of the group. He turned his attention to Szayel first, "I thought you would be wearing pink, but the unicorns are absolutely no surprise."

The octo clutched his hands in an extremely girly manner, blushing furiously, "What's wrong with unicorns? And just so you know, shades of purple were meant only for royalty back in the Middle Ages!"

In an instant, Barraggan was trying his loom over the taller espada, but he was no less intimidating, "Are you trying to say that you are from a royal line?"

Szayel pushed the ancient espada away from him, as if fearing he would get wrinkles just be being next to him, "Nooo, I'm just stating facts. Sheesh."

"Hmph. Insolent children these days. Absolutely no respect." the secunda muttered. He, was wearing plain dark grey pajamas accompanied with a dark grey cloak with black fur lining. Gin theorized that Barraggan wanted to create a "royal look".

The ex-shinigami then turned his attention the rest of the group. Wonderweiss was wearing a blue set of pajamas with alien head print with a matching cap. Orihime was wearing an adorable pink one with chibi duckies with matching slippers and cap. Starrk, surprisingly had a grey one with chibi sheep print, Yammy was wearing a boring burgundy colored one, Zommari a boring white, Aaroniero had on a black one with skull head prints, and Ulquiorra actually looked like he had some hope, wearing vertical black and green stripes.

Now Harribel…she was wearing a sexy silk night robe with a silk white scarf to cover her hollow mask. Gin did a thumbs up at her, "I give you a ten!"

Harribel glared at him, "Die."

Gin pouted, but quickly got over the insult, "Anyway, now y'all can go to your designated rooms!" With that, he walked out.

Nearly everyone's jaw dropped, or expressed some sort of shock when they saw what was written on Gin's back in fancy cursive writing:

_Foxy Mama_….

Grimmjow choked on a laugh, "And he said we had fashion issues!"


	3. First Pair

A/N: Not really good...sooooo sorry! Please if you can/want to, tell me how to improve!

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><p><strong>FIRST PAIR: Nnoitra &amp; Wonderweiss<strong>

It didn't take the pair long before they found their room. When they opened the door, it was pretty dim so they couldn't see where their bed was. When Nnoitra flipped open the lights, what he saw made him want to go behemoth-

In one corner of the room, there was a baby cradle. The cradle wasn't one of those plastic ones, thank goodness, but considering his height, there would be a _huge_ problem.

Either way, Nnoitra needed a place to sleep since the floor here was hard and cold as hell, and due to the fact that Wonderweiss was a complete idiot, Nnoitra would get the fucking cradle for sure. With a sneer, he kicked Wonderweiss out into the hall and slammed the door shut. There. That would show that alien pajama freak who's boss.

Then came the issue of actually finding a way to sleep in it. Nnoitra could have curled up into a ball, but he was too tall. He could had just let his upper half have the fucking thing, but his lower half would be freezing. And vise versa.

FUCK! Why did he had to be so fucking tall?

While he was still contemplating, the door blew open. Nnoitra whipped around, eye wide with shock, "What the-? ….Mother fuck."

Wonderweiss was in his murder mode. A cero quickly took form in the mouth, one capable of blowing up half of Las Noches, and he let it loose.

Cursing, Nnoitra dodged it, but forgot to take the cradle with him. His eyes boggled when he saw it turn into a pile of ash. That's when HE went into his crazy murderer mode, "You fucking shit hole, I was going to sleep in that!"

So basically, instead of sleeping, the two spent the whole night trying to kill each other.

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><p>Gin was sitting in the surveillance room, munching a bucket of popcorn, smirk on his face. He might have to pull an all nighter, but it was worth it. Then he heard the door open and scowled.<p>

"What are you doing in here, Ichimaru?"

"Why should I not, Kaname?" Gin retorted.

The blind ex-shinigami walked up and looked up at the screens, "Is this your latest shenanigan?"

Gin grinned, "However can you tell? Now get out. You just might ruin it for me."


	4. Second Pair

_AN: Again, a bit short. My creative juices weren't flowing so well. I'm sorry!_

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><p><strong>SECOND PAIR: Orihime &amp; Starrk<strong>

When the two arrived in the room, there was a twin-sized bed and a pink sleeping bed. Orihime let out a sigh of relief. So she didn't have to sleep in the same spot as the first espada. Whew…

"Hey, girl." Starrk said, already sounding like he wanted to collapse where he stood, "Where do you want to sleep?"

Orihime clasped her hands together and her eyes turned sparkly, "I always wanted to have an indoor campout! Is it okay if I take the sleeping bag?"

"Sure. Why not?" With that, Starrk trudged over to the twin. It was too small, but frankly, he didn't care. Two seconds later, he flopped onto it and was snoring away.

It wasn't long before-despite the fact that they were both snuggled up and Starrk's snoring vibrated against the walls of the room-Orihime was struck by a surge of boredom (she was an insomniac). The teen bit her lip and whispered tentatively, "Staaarrrk…?"

For some reason, the awful light sleeper tonight, the espada woke with a start, choking on a snore, "Wha-what….?"

"I'm bored."

Starrk groaned. An just when he thought he could be rid of Lilynette for a while, this girl has to deprive him of sleep, too, "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Weeeell…..I saw a little kiddy make-up kit in the corner when we came in….Can I paint your nails or something?"

"No. I go through that too often…"

"Oh…Okay…." Orihime muttered, disappointed, "Err…can I talk to you about some things, then?"

Starrk grunted.

The teen took this as encouragement and began rambling for a good two hours. To put things briefly, she was talking about girl problems.

"….And there's hair in places I never knew possible!" Orihime concluded, horrified. She expected silence, but surprisingly, Starrk launched into a full-blown lecture about the birds, the bees, and puberty.

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><p>Gin stared at the screen in shock, "How does…he know all that…?"<p>

"Lilynette's approaching those years, so I suppose he wanted to get ready." Kaname commented.

Gin dropped his balled up fist into the palm of his hand, "I have ta speak to him more!" Then he turned to scowl at the person standing next to him, "Why're ya still here?"


	5. Third Pair

_AN: Thaank you sooo much for the feed back. (Ahaha, my most successful story so far.)_

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><p><strong>THIRD PAIR: Harribel &amp; Szayel<strong>

Szayel clapped his hands happily, "Ooo! A huge bed!"

Harribel was fairly tired, so she immediately went to the problem at hand, "You sleep on the left, I sleep on the right. If you try anything, I'll kill you. Do you understand?"

Szayel seemed to not have heard, and belly flopped onto the bed, "I wish _my_ bed was like this!"

Harribel was already comfortable under the sheets, eyes closed, "Stop bouncing around and get to sleep. Before I kill you."

Szayel stopped and complied with a pout. However, once the pink-haired espada was asleep, he began tossing and turning, upsetting not only the sheets, but the person he was sharing it with. At one point and time, he even threw his arms around her, whimpering like a little kid. Apparently, he was having a bad dream.

Harribel scowled as she tried to pry his arms off her, gritting her teeth, "Get…off….me….."

However, the alleged man merely made more of an effort to hug her, kicking and scratching and what have you. Harribel closed her eyes irritably, holding Szayel back with one hand, "All right. I've had enough."

With that, she shoved the octo violently into the wall parallel to her. She got out of the bed as Szayel slid down from his imprint on the wall, waking up with a dazed look. The octo slowly touched the back of his head and found blood there. He then proceeded to hyperventilate.

"Blood! How is my beautiful head bleeding? What happened!"

Harribel curled her lip as she strode to the foot of the bed, "I don't know _what_ you had earlier, but you're much more annoying than usual."

She raised her zanpakutou from out of nowhere and-No, not to rip the pink haired espada into shreds. Ahh, the sadness-cut the bed in half. She walked between the two halves and kicked the one on her left to the wall across it (where the octo was still moaning).

Szayel was immediately pinned between the wall and half a king sized bed. And there he remained in that position…..

All night.

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><p>"I find it hard to believe that this was all spontaneous. How can you possibly watch each pair's activities in their entirety and still have time to transition to the next pair without any overlapping?"<p>

Gin threw his arms up in the air, giving up on trying to drive out the blind ex-shinigami. He brought them behind his head and grinned, "Course it ain't spontaneous. I'm a genius, after all."


	6. Fourth Pair

_AN: I'll be honest here. The next two pairs are gonna be pretty short and unfulfilling (I think that's how you spell it). I mean, who even cares about these espada, really? Be honest to yourselves._

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><p><strong>FOURTH PAIR: Yammy &amp; Barraggan<strong>

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Yammy growled, "What does that shithole think we are? Little kids?"

Barraggan marched over to it and tried his best to sleep on it, "Either way, you're sleeping on the floor."

"What?" Yammy wailed (disturbing, Gin knows), "No! We share!"

The ancient espada stared at the wall facing him, "Why should we? If you have any sense of conduct, you will sleep on the floor."

"Hey! Just because you're a fucking old shit, doesn't mean you get all the fucking good stuff!"

(Just an FWI, the two espada were arguing over a doll's bed. Yes, Gin knows how stupid they are. No, Gin does not feel any remorse or regret once so ever. He lives for this stuff after all.)

Barraggan grunted in response as he stared at the tiny bed, contemplating on just how he was going to sleep on it. Meanwhile, Yammy was going on and on about how lame his luck was. How he ended up with a two inch bed, how he was stuck with an old mother fucker instead of Ulquiorra, how that fucking feline was stuck with his mother fucking jailbait…. Blah, blah, blah. (Gin could care less. And yes, for those who _obviously_ care, Gin is a psychic.)

"This is preposterous." Barraggan said at last, "I'm leaving to get mine. You can take this pathetic excuse for a bed."

Suddenly, a loud, booming voice resounded throughout the drafty room, "Sorry ta say, but ya can't leave."

Barraggan closed his eyes irritably, "Why is that, shinigami?"

"Penalty gaaaaaaaammmeeee!"

"What penalty ga-HEY!"

Meanwhile, Yammy jacked the tiny shit of a bed.

And broke it.

Into pieces.

So in the end, they ended up fighting over the remains.

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><p>Gin laughed, spinning around in his office chair after an intake of caffeine (a whole gallon's worth), "All these people are idiots!"<p>

"Says the one who thought potatoes where persimmons." Kaname reminded artlessly.

Gin merely grinned with more mirth, "My point exactly. If a said idiot called another person an idiot, then that's all the more sadder. Ya know what I mean? Having the idiot call you an idiot?"

"You still have no just right to place such a label on these people."

"Don't go 'round bein' a hypocrite." retorted Gin. He pauses for a few seconds, "Then again, ya _do_ hang out with the most stupidest arrancar in all of Los Noches, so I wouldn't be too surprised."


	7. Fifth Pair

**A/N: Innocent Demon, checking in! Last pair before the one yall been waiting for!**

**Disclaimer: Bleach is no mine.**

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><p><strong>FIFTH PAIR: Aaranerio &amp; Zommari<strong>

Aaranerio and Zommari opened the door to find….

Their bed somehow on the ceiling.

"Are you kidding me?" they asked at the same time.

"It's a medium sided one too…." pointed out Aaranerio ruefully.

Zommari stared up at the bed, "Should we try to get it down? Perhaps I can use my power to make it come down."

"I thought it didn't work on inanimate objects."

"….You're right."

"Should we try to sleep on it how it is?"

"I don't think we can defy gravity."

"….You're right."

Zommari stared at the bed blankly, "We could always cut it down by sawing out the ceiling it is attached to."

"But that would let in the draft." argued Aaranerio.

"….You're right."

"We should get it down." decided Aaranerio.

"How?"

The other espada drew his weapon, "Scrape it off."

Zommari sighed, "Why not?"

So they spent twenty minutes trying to get the bed down to no avail (Ahh, the wonders of enough super glue). Five minutes in, Zommari realized, "How are the pillows and the sheets still on there?"

"Most likely glued to the bed…"

"This is ridiculous."

"So….do you want to share the floor?"

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><p>"You really need to find a better hobby."<p>

"It's better than talkin' 'bout 'justice' all the time." countered Gin.

Kaname looked insulted, "Justice is what drives the world. Justice is fairness and reasonableness. Justice-"

"SHUT UP, WILL YA?" Gin yelled, finally losing it. He activated Shinso and used it to shove the blind, annoying bastard out of the room. Once he was successfully out, he slammed the door in Kaname's face and locked it.

"There. Now I can enjoy myself more better." He turned eagerly to the screen, bouncing up and down in his chair like the naughty kid he was, "Now for the last an' least!"

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><p>AN: Yaaaayy! Almost done! *pops confetti thingy* show your support! Review, fave, doesn't matter. Feedback stimulates motivation! (Not joking) Also, if ya like this fic, don't hesitate to look at other ones. (I don't care if I sound desperate. DON'T CARE, I TELL YA!)


	8. Sixth Pair

**A/N: Hells ja! Almost done! Thanks for support and yada yada yada.**

**Now! Onto the last pair!**

**Oh...one more thing...**

**REVIEW!**

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><p><strong>SIXTH PAIR: Ulquiorra &amp; Grimmjow<strong>

"Alright piece of shit, where the fuck are we?"

"I think I am the one who is meant to ask that question." Ulquiorra replied in monotone, "After all, YOU are the one with the map and _I_ am the one following you. Are you even reading the map correctly?"

Grimmjow spluttered and glowered at him, "Well, this isn't MY fucking fault! And of course I'm reading the darn thing right! This piece of crap is just fucked up to begin with!"

"Are you quite positive?" Ulquiorra asked in an impassive skeptic tone (Only one in the world that could pull that off. Gin tried, but frankly he was too good for such feat), "Because at the current time, we just so happen to be _outside_ of Las Noches."

At those words, a breeze picked up and lifted the sand up to form veils. Grimmjow froze up and blinked at nothing. Then he cursed at his lack of clothing, "Listen, piece of shit, if you don't believe me, take a fucking look at the map!" He shoved it in his face.

Ulquiorra calmly removed the map from his face and he showed the slightest signs of disbelief. When he lowered the paper, he regained his impassive mask, "It appears as though you are right."

"HA!" Grimmjow shouted victoriously, then snatched the map back and smacked it, "So how the fuck are we supposed to find that dot?"

Ulquiorra glanced over to one side, "I think the question you should be asking is: What are we even going to sleep in?" Ulquiorra grabbed the map from him again and stared at it, "In the meantime, I believe it is safe to say that we are lost."

Grimmjow snorted, his hands clasping the back on his neck, "Only losers say things like that. I'm fucking _positive_ if we wander around some more we'll find it."

"Wouldn't we get even more lost then?"

"Shut up! Just follow my lead."

"But you don't know where you're going."

"Didn't I tell you to shut the fuck up?!"

"You told me to 'shut up' the first time. Isn't that more simpler to repeat?"

"Why the fuck are you so talkative, ya bastard?!"

"I'm tired. And we've been walking around for hours."

"We're not lost!"

"We are, but I didn't say anything about it. You brought it up."

Grimmjow gritted his teeth, "I liked you better when you didn't talk so much…."

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><p>An hour and thirty-five minutes later…<p>

Ulquiorra and the sexta were basically sleep walking by now (The idiots. They were walking around their bed the entire time). About another ten minutes later, Grimmjow toppled over something. Wide awake, Ulquiorra soon found that the blue-haired espada (who was still sprawled out, stunned) miraculously found a tent.

"Get off." Ulquiorra said, kicking Grimmjow off the materials.

The sexta spat out the sand from his mouth, "What the fuck, you dick?!"

"Since you're absolutely useless in situations such as these, just sit there and curse to your heart's content." "Hey!"

Five minutes later….

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU SHITHOLE?! LET ME IN!" Grimmjow bellowed for the fifteenth time in a row (Surprisingly, he didn't cero the tent down. Must have put two and two together to realize that he was going to sleep in that. Ahh, they grow up so fast).

Silence.

Then a breeze of cold air decided to stop by, causing gooseflesh on the poor kitty's nearly naked body.

"FUCK!" That stupid foxy faced creep. Grimmjow'll cero him the first chance he got. (Pshaaaw…Like he could.)

Then, out of nowhere, the zipper to the darn thing that the piece of shit jacked opened a crack. Ulquiorra's head, looking more dead and emo than usual (understatement), said, "I sense Kurosaki's spiritual pressure."

_That_ got Grimmjow's attention. He drew out his sword (From where, don't ask Gin. He also has no clue), "Really?! Where?!"

Ulquiorra pointed.

And off Grimmjow ran.

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><p>Twenty minutes later….<p>

"MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!"

He was duped…

And lost.

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><p>Gin tossed his thirtieth soda can to add to his mountain of junk food with a self-satisfied smirk. As expected, Las Noches' dominant yaoi pairing offered the most amusing results. Suddenly, the ex-shinigami felt his eye twitch uncontrollably. Okay…Maybe he had a bit TOO much sugar intake…..<p> 


	9. Last Chapter

**A/N: Heeeeeeeereeeeee's the last chapter. Ugh. School's coming round the bend. Shoot me now.**

**anyways, Review!**

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><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

Gin strode into the meeting room, still high on caffeine (glucose, carbohydrates, whatever) and wearing full armor (which did not deter his grace and handsomeness in any way, shape, or form). There, he was greeted by a variety of expressions (mainly irate ones).

"Good morning!" Gin chirped.

Orihime, always, the chipper one, replied with the same amount of energy, "Morning, Gin!"

Grimmjow, on the other hand, looked feral. Make that DEAD and feral. His hair was ten times messier than usual and sand covered him from head to toe. Gin was also positive that the sexta had some up his butt as well. Not that he wanted to check or anything. Anyways, Grimmjow replied, "Looks like someone's fucking high."

"High on sugar and everything else that's perfectly innocent." Gin answered truthfully.

"My ass." snorted Yammy.

Harribel was probably one of the only ones that looked like she had a good night's rest. She crossed her arms and looked down on him in that manner that made him feel like an ant, "I'm guessing that you got tired of those 'Foxy Mama' nightclothes and changed into something more ridiculous?"

"Oh, no, my sweet. This is for protection!"

Nnoitra rose slowly from his seat, "Ohh, your going to need all the fucking protection you fucking need….."

"For once, I agree with that idiot." murmured Ulquiorra.

Starrk was passed out on the table, obviously not capable of offering any incite to the conversation. (As for the other espada, they weren't present. Not really. Gin is just omitting their parts cuz he has no use for them. Yes, Gin is god.)

Gin merely smiled at him and showed him the button from the night before.

Nnoitra's eye twitched as he shouted, "I don't give a fucking shit about your fucking joystick! I'm going to turn you into road kill!" Yet for all his talk, he remained where he stood.

"I think we _all_ wanna kill him." growled Grimmjow from his sprawled out position on the floor.

"But you can't." Gin replied.

"Why the fuck not?" muttered the blue-haired espada.

"'Cuz ya don't want to."

Nnoitra snorted, "Fucking bull. Real reason."

Gin grinned winningly, "'Cuz…" He couldn't resist the dramatic pause, "I have another game!"

That woke all the espada with a start.

"**NO!"**

Gin looked around, perplexed and disappointed, "Huh? But why not?"


End file.
